Matthew 19-20

I don't ever plan on getting divorced, but what Jesus has to say on the topic is still mildly concerning. Yes, divorce is bad. Marriages fail sometimes, but you made oaths (despite Jesus already declaring that a sin) and you should do your damnedest to keep them. My worrying part is that divorce only seems to be excusable in cases of "sexual immorality," (Matt 19:9) whereas I can think of a pretty solid handful of reasons why you should ditch your spouse. It also specifically speaks to a man divorcing his wife, but when things are worded like that I prefer to assume the same rules apply for both genders.

Anyway, my husband doesn't seem at all divorce-worthy, so I'm not going to fret over it.

One thing I'm definitely getting sick of, though, is all this talk of reward and punishment. In Matthew 19:16-30, people are asking Jesus about how to reap the rewards of the afterlife. I have yet to see a single instance where anyone has discussed the intrinsic value of being a good person. It's always "Do as I say or you're going to hell!" or "Do as I say and you'll get a throne and treasure when you're dead!"

It makes me wonder how self-actualization fits into Christianity. The messages here all seem to be about punishment and reward, rather than encouraging followers to do what's right and good because it's right and good. I understand that an estimated 1% of adults reach self-actualization (see below), but I can't help but feel like these kinds of messages are a hindrance to that, training people their whole lives that good deeds will get you a higher rank and [probably figurative] treasure in the afterlife.

It bothers me.

Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs

In that same section, Jesus tells a guy to give away all his possessions to the poor, and then says, "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God," (Matt 19:24). The problem is that "rich" is a subjective term. Comparing living situations across the world, I would venture to say that anyone who may read this is "rich," simply based on their having access to a computer.

Basically, a camel will have an easier time getting itself through the hole of a needle than I will getting into heaven, unless I give all of my things to the poor. And then all that other stuff Jesus told me to do will be moot anyway--one of the many problems with a religion that dictates its followers behavior with threats and promises.

Yes, I'm notably perturbed by chapter nineteen.

I'm not sure how I feel about the parable of the workers in the vineyard (Matt 20:1-16). Jesus has made it pretty clear that not everyone is equal in heaven--that some will earn a "greater" place than others--but this parable states the opposite. Basically, a vineyard owner picks up a bunch of guys and tells them he'll give them a denarius for working all day. Around noon, he picks up a few more guys, and then he picked up a few more at around five. When the vineyard owner paid everyone their denarius, the guys who got there in the morning were like "Hey! We worked all day and these guys only worked an hour! What gives??" The vineyard owner just says, "Pfft, I want to pay these guys the same as you. It's my money, so chillax." And Jesus says this is how heaven is--you get the same, even if you worked less, thanks to the generosity of God.

Except for all those times that Jesus said "Do these extra things and you'll get more rewards in heaven." And he promised his disciples thrones upon which to judge people.

A few verses later, Jesus is walking down the road when two blind men beg him for mercy. Jesus, being his charming self, rebukes them and tells them to be quiet (Matt 19:31). When they kept yelling, he stopped and said "What do you want me to do for you?" to which the blind guys replied "Well, being that we're blind... some sight would be nice." Okay, not those words, but come on, Jesus. He did heal them, though, and let's be honest... if I had people begging me for heals all the time, I would get snarky too. I can't even play a healer in an MMO--I always end up being all "Get some potions are something! Can't you see I'm trying to farm for gold over here?"

Matthew 17-18

Chapter seventeen starts out with Jesus transforming into Super Jesus, and God spoke to Peter, James, and John. He told them not to tell anyone, but based on me reading this I'm guessing one of them blabbed.

Later that evening (maybe), Jesus was approached by a man who said his disciples failed to heal his son, to which Jesus replied, "You unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me," (Matt 17:17). I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes too.

Some tax collectors asked if Jesus paid the temple tax, so he told Peter to go get it out of a fish's mouth. The fish paid Peter's tax too; how sweet. (Matt 17:24-27)

I'm not sure how I feel about the start of chapter eighteen. A man asks Jesus who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and Jesus tells him "whoever takes a lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven," (Matt 18:4). It's weird to me that heaven has a hierarchy. Even if it does, it's not paradise if you have to worry about stuff like that.

In versus 6 though 9 Jesus goes over again the idea that, if your eye causes you to sin, you should gouge it out. I'm still not sure if he intended that literally.

This chapter also gives instruction on how to deal with it when others sin: First, you quietly point it out to them, then bring two or three people to give them the business, then you try telling the church on them, and if all that doesn't work you treat them "as you would a pagan or tax collector," (Matt 18:17). I don't think anyone quite deserves the latter, but I will do as I'm told. I'll have to go to Home Depot and get a bat full of nails.

I imagine a lot of Christians use those versus as some kind of holy command to be rude to people they view as more sinful than themselves. Which is odd because, in the parable just before this part, Jesus said of wandering sheep "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven," (Matt 18:10). At what point does a person go from wandering sheep to tax collector?

Chapter eighteen ends with a message to pay mercy forward and forgive those who sin against you seventy-seven times. I'm going to take that literally and start a tally.

Matthew 14-16

Herod wanted to kill John the Baptist, but he couldn't, so he had his niece asks for his head for her birthday. That family is all kinds of messed up.

Jesus fed five thousand men, besides women and children (Matt 14:20). That means we're not counting the women and children, right? Why not? Saying Jesus fed, like, ten thousand would certainly be more impressive than five.

Jesus walked on water. As did Peter, apparently.

Jesus told his followers a parable about how it's not what you eat that defiles you, but what you say. When Peter asked him to explain it, Jesus asked if he was stupid or something (Matt 15:16). I admit I laughed a little at that.

Some random woman asked for Jesus to heal her daughter, to which he responded "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs," (Matt 15:26), which I think was a pretty horrible thing to say to a desperate mother. He did heal her though.

And then he fed four thousand men, besides women and children.

He warned his followers about the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees, and then when his followers were confused because they didn't bring any bread, Jesus said "How is it you don't understand that I was not talking to you about bread?" (Matt 16:11) I'm always amused when Jesus seems a little snippy.

Peter said, "Hey, you're the Messiah," and Jesus replied, "Yeah, but don't tell anyone." (Matt 16:16, 20)

Then Jesus predicted his death. When Peter was like, "No way!" Jesus called him Satan. Ha. (Matt 16:23)

And that's basically it for those chapters. Not much to say about them.

Matthew 13

It took me awhile to get through these parables. I'm glad that they're all explained, at least.

I liked the parable of the sower (Matt 13:1-23). The seed sown along the path is someone reading but not understanding; the one sown in the rocks is the person who's enthusiastic at first but their faith dies off once they face persecution; the one sown among the thorns is choked out by the person's focus on life and wealth; the one sown in the soil grows roots and flourishes. It's cute. I don't think my seed was sown in any of those places, but it's a cute parable.

The parable of the weeds (Matt  13:24-30) seems to be saying to leave people alone to be good or evil and God'll sort them out later to either burn or be put in the barn.

The parable of the net (Matt 13:47-50) is pretty much the same as the weeds, except this time people are good or bad fish. The bad ones are, yet again, tossed into fire. So much talk about hell in this book. Is it a coincidence that the two most popular religions by far are the only two that threaten their followers with eternal hell? I somehow doubt it.

I find it weird when Jesus won't do miracles because of people's lack of faith (Matt 13:58). It would be so easy for him to be like "See, guys? No lyin'. Now you can see with your own eyes!" But, no, people are expected to believe the rumors they've heard about this guy, despite many other men of the time making similar claims. Like "How can you guys not realize I'm the real deal? I know you heard that a friend of a friend of a friend totally saw me heal a blind guy." He's totally willing to prove himself to one group of people, but then not another. I'm going to withhold judgment on this, though, since I'm still only 13 chapters in. I admit it's not giving me the greatest impression, though I do find Jesus to be overall kind of a funny guy.

Matthew 8-12

Not much happened in the adventures of Jesus today. He spent a lot of time gaining followers by showing off how easy it is for God to cure the diseases that He created in the first place. I have to be honest and say I find it hard to feel impressed by that. It feels akin to putting out a fire that you yourself started and expecting people to appreciate your heroism.

I didn't know that Jesus also gave the power to heal and raise the dead to his disciples. It's that easy, is it? Hmm.

I liked the part where Jesus said "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against his mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law--a man's enemies will be members of his own household." (Matt 10:34-36) Reading it in context I think it means He wants people to compete over who the best follower is? Maybe?

Anyway, the Pharisees are officially plotting to kill Jesus.

There's only one thing to add to God's dos and don'ts list today, and it's a don't: "And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the spirit will not be forgiven." (Matt 12:31) I'm not yet to the part that supposedly says all sins are equal, so maybe my understanding of that concept is poor.

Matthew: 1-7

I feel like I got pretty far last night, but when I went back to look at it I had only actually read seven pages. Out of 1140. I suppose that's an acceptable pace.

Matthew 1-2:

Mary got pregnant, Joseph was notably miffed until an angel told him it was cool, Jesus was born, the Magi brought him presents, and then they moved around a bit before settling in Nazareth. Everyone knows that story. I never got the part where just those handful of guys saw a star and said "Hey, our savior must be over there. Let's go!" but I'm sure I'll figure that out later.

Matthew 3:

John the Baptist seems kind of cranky so far. And he likes fire. But he got to baptize Jesus, which I'm sure left him pleased as punch. I had to look up who the Pharisees and Sadducees were--they were factions of Jews, apparently. Based on him calling them a "brood of vipers" (Matt. 3:7), either John was an Essenes or... I don't know. There's some debate about it. I found a good summary of the three factions here.

Matthew 4-7:

Here Jesus hangs out with the devil for a while, and then starts getting some disciples. He tells a few fishermen to quit fishing for fish and follow Him to fish for people (Matt 4:18-19), which amused me. Healing people apparently made him quite popular, at which point he begins preaching.

There are three passages that stuck out to me. The first was Matthew 5:11-12, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Basically I feel like I should put people on notice: When you're mean to Christians, they like it.

The second thing that I really noticed was what seems to be a contradiction. In Matthew 5:14-16 Jesus says His followers cannot be hidden, like you don't light a lamp and then put it under a bowl. "Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Very shortly after, in Matthew 6:1-18, Jesus says to do all your Christiany things in secret! "Be careful not to practice in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." (Matt 6:1) He says specifically to give to the needy, to pray, and to fast in secret. That's certainly new to me.

The third is Matthew 5:17-20, in which Jesus says he's laying down The Law for reals this time, and there's no messing around. He says "Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the lease of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:19) This seems to imply there's a hierarchy once you get to heaven. I thought heaven was supposed to be a perfect place, so either being called "least" has no effect on you because you're already in a state of perpetual bliss, or heaven isn't a perfect place. I'll have to pay more attention to the details of heaven, I suppose.

The rest can be summed up pretty well in a "To Do and To Not Do" list, which I intend to continually update. So here's the things we've learned to do (or not) from Matthew 1-7.

To Do

To Not Do

♥ worship and serve only God (Matt 4:10) ♥ rejoice and be glad when persecuted (Matt 5:11-12) ♥ let your light shine before others (Matt 5:14-16) ♥ settle matters quickly with your adversary (Matt 5:25) ♥ do what it takes to stop sinning (Matt 5:29-30) ♥ give to the one who asks you (Matt 5:32) ♥ love your enemies (Matt 5:44) ♥ pray for those who persecute you (Matt 5:44) ♥ give to the needy in secret (Matt 6:1-4) ♥ pray in secret (Matt 6:5-15) ♥ fast in secret (Matt 6:16-18) ♥ ask for what you need (Matt 7:7) ♥ watch for false prophets (Matt 7:15)

♥ put God to the test (Matt 4:7) ♥ commit adultery (Matt 5:27-30)      ♥ look lustfully at women [people?] (Matt 5:28)      ♥ divorce (Matt 5:31-32) ♥ swear oaths (Matt 5:34) ♥ turn away someone who wants to borrow (Matt 5:42) ♥ store up earthly treasures (Matt 6:19) ♥ worry about your life (Matt 6:25) ♥ worry about what to eat or drink (Matt 6:25) ♥ worry about what to wear (Matt 6:25) ♥ judge others (Matt 7:1) ♥ take the easy (broad) way (Matt 7:13-14)

Color Legend

► A rule I will follow only because God says to. ► A rule I will not follow.
► A rule I would follow without God telling me to. ► A rule I don't think most Christians follow.

♥ Jesus said this one Himself.

My New Bible

If I were to say I were a huge Jane Austen fan, I think it would be fair to assume I had read her books. But what if I said I had only read one of her books, and just really liked the movies based on them? Most people would probably consider me a pretty terrible excuse for a Jane Austen fan.

I feel like a lot of people are like that about their religion--they say how important it is to them without ever having really sat down and read the book (or books) their faith is based on. There are a lot of members of each religion who are really dedicated to knowing their stuff, sure, but I don't even think those people are in the majority, and that bothers me.

I just don't want to be one of those people. I don't feel comfortable attributing a label to myself based on something I haven't read. While my husband doesn't entirely agree that it's necessary to read the entire thing when you could just go to church and be taught about it by "experts," he doesn't think I'm crazy so he's agreed to read through the book with me.

I tried this once before with an old King James version I had on my bookshelf, but I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of that big "begot" business, so this time we're trying a compact copy of the New International Version. A lot of people don't recommend reading the thing in order, which is advice my husband and I disagree on, so we're compromising by reading the first four books of The New Testament, and then going back and starting with The Old Testament.

My goal is to analyze what I read from a neutral standpoint. I know these books were written in another time and place, and so my ignorance of the cultural context of some parts might show. I welcome any further education on any entries, and I'm okay with being corrected. I just hope I don't say something stupid that makes a bunch of people angry.

We'll see how far I get into Matthew tonight.