Matthew chapter 21 is basically Jesus going around trolling people, which makes it my favorite chapter so far. It starts off with stopping outside of Jerusalem and telling a couple of His disciples to run ahead and steal a donkey so that he can ride into town in style. He advises them to just tell the farmer who it's for--I'm not sure if this is Jesus being all "I am Lord, give me things" or just generic socialism taken a bit far. Either way, the idea of Jesus sitting on a rock outside of town waiting for His friends to bring Him a stolen donkey to ride on is pretty funny.
Once he gets to town, He throws all the peddlers out of the temple and sets up camp to tell stories and perform miracles, which seems like a solid move to me.
The next morning, though, He sees a fig tree that doesn't have any figs, and He's just so miffed about it that he curses it forever (Matt 21:19). I get it, I'm cranky before breakfast too, but that seems a little harsh maybe. Though He does use it as an opportunity to tell His followers that if they're super super good, they'll get magic powers too. Not just to curse impotent fruit trees, but apparently to get anything they pray for (Matt 21:22). It makes me wonder how many people focus on this passage in trying to strengthen their faith. All you've gotta do is never doubt your faith ever, and you get the power to destroy mountains.
I admit I had to look up the meaning of The Parable of the Two Sons (Matt 21:28-32) to understand it. All I knew was Jesus was telling a story, and when they gave what I thought was the right answer to his question, He yelled at them "Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you!" (Matt 21:31) which I found both confusing and hilarious. Apparently He means the tax collectors and the prostitutes are the "first son," initially disobeying but then behaving themselves, and the priests and elders of the temple are the "second son," saying they'll obey but really not. This is the start of many, many versus of Jesus finding creative ways of telling the priests and elders that they're terrible.
I felt a little dumb after looking up the meaning of The Parable of the Tenants (Matt 21:33-46) because it seems really obvious now. Just another version of Jesus telling the priests and elders "You guys are the worst and my Dad is maaaad at you!"
And then Matthew chapter 22 is mostly more of that. My favorite parts are always when someone asks Jesus a question, and His first response is to basically tell them they're dumb for not already knowing the answer (in this example, Matt 22:29).
I still don't really get Marriage at Resurrection (Matt 22:23-33). The only part that seems clear is also quite unpleasant, where we're reminded that Moses told everyone that, "if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him," (Matt 22:24). This comes with the disturbing language of a man "leaving" his wife to his brother, as though she were his property. Thumbs down to all of that.
The next passage is another one that a lot of Christians don't seem to take seriously: the greatest commandment is to "Love your Lord" (Matt 22:37), but then right after that the second greatest is "Love your neighbor as yourself," (Matt 22:39). I think there a lot of noisy people who use the Bible as an excuse to not do that, even though Jesus says right here that it's really, really important. I marked this passage as extra important in my own book.
And then Matthew chapter 23 is more of Jesus finding creative ways to tell off the priests and elders. Like the whole thing. I would love to see this scene depicted as a rap battle.
Showing posts with label Jesus: teachings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus: teachings. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Friday, August 24, 2012
Matthew 17-18
Chapter seventeen starts out with Jesus transforming into Super Jesus, and God spoke to Peter, James, and John. He told them not to tell anyone, but based on me reading this I'm guessing one of them blabbed.
Later that evening (maybe), Jesus was approached by a man who said his disciples failed to heal his son, to which Jesus replied, "You unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me," (Matt 17:17). I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes too.
Some tax collectors asked if Jesus paid the temple tax, so he told Peter to go get it out of a fish's mouth. The fish paid Peter's tax too; how sweet. (Matt 17:24-27)
I'm not sure how I feel about the start of chapter eighteen. A man asks Jesus who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and Jesus tells him "whoever takes a lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven," (Matt 18:4). It's weird to me that heaven has a hierarchy. Even if it does, it's not paradise if you have to worry about stuff like that.
In versus 6 though 9 Jesus goes over again the idea that, if your eye causes you to sin, you should gouge it out. I'm still not sure if he intended that literally.
This chapter also gives instruction on how to deal with it when others sin: First, you quietly point it out to them, then bring two or three people to give them the business, then you try telling the church on them, and if all that doesn't work you treat them "as you would a pagan or tax collector," (Matt 18:17). I don't think anyone quite deserves the latter, but I will do as I'm told. I'll have to go to Home Depot and get a bat full of nails.
I imagine a lot of Christians use those versus as some kind of holy command to be rude to people they view as more sinful than themselves. Which is odd because, in the parable just before this part, Jesus said of wandering sheep "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven," (Matt 18:10). At what point does a person go from wandering sheep to tax collector?
Chapter eighteen ends with a message to pay mercy forward and forgive those who sin against you seventy-seven times. I'm going to take that literally and start a tally.
Later that evening (maybe), Jesus was approached by a man who said his disciples failed to heal his son, to which Jesus replied, "You unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me," (Matt 17:17). I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes too.
Some tax collectors asked if Jesus paid the temple tax, so he told Peter to go get it out of a fish's mouth. The fish paid Peter's tax too; how sweet. (Matt 17:24-27)
I'm not sure how I feel about the start of chapter eighteen. A man asks Jesus who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and Jesus tells him "whoever takes a lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven," (Matt 18:4). It's weird to me that heaven has a hierarchy. Even if it does, it's not paradise if you have to worry about stuff like that.
In versus 6 though 9 Jesus goes over again the idea that, if your eye causes you to sin, you should gouge it out. I'm still not sure if he intended that literally.
This chapter also gives instruction on how to deal with it when others sin: First, you quietly point it out to them, then bring two or three people to give them the business, then you try telling the church on them, and if all that doesn't work you treat them "as you would a pagan or tax collector," (Matt 18:17). I don't think anyone quite deserves the latter, but I will do as I'm told. I'll have to go to Home Depot and get a bat full of nails.
I imagine a lot of Christians use those versus as some kind of holy command to be rude to people they view as more sinful than themselves. Which is odd because, in the parable just before this part, Jesus said of wandering sheep "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven," (Matt 18:10). At what point does a person go from wandering sheep to tax collector?
Chapter eighteen ends with a message to pay mercy forward and forgive those who sin against you seventy-seven times. I'm going to take that literally and start a tally.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Matthew: 1-7
I feel like I got pretty far last night, but when I went back to look at it I had only actually read seven pages. Out of 1140. I suppose that's an acceptable pace.
There are three passages that stuck out to me. The first was Matthew 5:11-12, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Basically I feel like I should put people on notice: When you're mean to Christians, they like it.
The second thing that I really noticed was what seems to be a contradiction. In Matthew 5:14-16 Jesus says His followers cannot be hidden, like you don't light a lamp and then put it under a bowl. "Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Very shortly after, in Matthew 6:1-18, Jesus says to do all your Christiany things in secret! "Be careful not to practice in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." (Matt 6:1) He says specifically to give to the needy, to pray, and to fast in secret. That's certainly new to me.
The third is Matthew 5:17-20, in which Jesus says he's laying down The Law for reals this time, and there's no messing around. He says "Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the lease of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:19) This seems to imply there's a hierarchy once you get to heaven. I thought heaven was supposed to be a perfect place, so either being called "least" has no effect on you because you're already in a state of perpetual bliss, or heaven isn't a perfect place. I'll have to pay more attention to the details of heaven, I suppose.
The rest can be summed up pretty well in a "To Do and To Not Do" list, which I intend to continually update. So here's the things we've learned to do (or not) from Matthew 1-7.
Matthew 1-2:
Mary got pregnant, Joseph was notably miffed until an angel told him it was cool, Jesus was born, the Magi brought him presents, and then they moved around a bit before settling in Nazareth. Everyone knows that story. I never got the part where just those handful of guys saw a star and said "Hey, our savior must be over there. Let's go!" but I'm sure I'll figure that out later.
Matthew 3:
John the Baptist seems kind of cranky so far. And he likes fire. But he got to baptize Jesus, which I'm sure left him pleased as punch. I had to look up who the Pharisees and Sadducees were--they were factions of Jews, apparently. Based on him calling them a "brood of vipers" (Matt. 3:7), either John was an Essenes or... I don't know. There's some debate about it. I found a good summary of the three factions here.
Matthew 4-7:
Here Jesus hangs out with the devil for a while, and then starts getting some disciples. He tells a few fishermen to quit fishing for fish and follow Him to fish for people (Matt 4:18-19), which amused me. Healing people apparently made him quite popular, at which point he begins preaching.There are three passages that stuck out to me. The first was Matthew 5:11-12, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Basically I feel like I should put people on notice: When you're mean to Christians, they like it.
The second thing that I really noticed was what seems to be a contradiction. In Matthew 5:14-16 Jesus says His followers cannot be hidden, like you don't light a lamp and then put it under a bowl. "Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Very shortly after, in Matthew 6:1-18, Jesus says to do all your Christiany things in secret! "Be careful not to practice in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." (Matt 6:1) He says specifically to give to the needy, to pray, and to fast in secret. That's certainly new to me.
The third is Matthew 5:17-20, in which Jesus says he's laying down The Law for reals this time, and there's no messing around. He says "Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the lease of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:19) This seems to imply there's a hierarchy once you get to heaven. I thought heaven was supposed to be a perfect place, so either being called "least" has no effect on you because you're already in a state of perpetual bliss, or heaven isn't a perfect place. I'll have to pay more attention to the details of heaven, I suppose.
The rest can be summed up pretty well in a "To Do and To Not Do" list, which I intend to continually update. So here's the things we've learned to do (or not) from Matthew 1-7.
To Do
|
To Not
Do
|
♥
worship
and serve only God
(Matt 4:10)
♥
rejoice
and be glad when persecuted (Matt 5:11-12)
♥
let
your light shine before others (Matt 5:14-16)
♥
settle
matters quickly with your adversary (Matt 5:25)
♥
do
what it takes to stop sinning (Matt 5:29-30)
♥
give
to the one who asks you (Matt 5:32)
♥ love
your enemies (Matt 5:44)
♥ pray
for those who persecute you (Matt 5:44)
♥ give
to the needy in secret (Matt 6:1-4)
♥ pray
in secret (Matt 6:5-15)
♥ fast
in secret (Matt 6:16-18)
♥ ask
for what you need (Matt 7:7)
♥ watch
for false prophets (Matt 7:15)
|
♥
put
God to the test (Matt
4:7)
♥
commit
adultery (Matt 5:27-30)
♥
look
lustfully at women [people?]
(Matt 5:28)
♥
divorce
(Matt 5:31-32)
♥ swear
oaths
(Matt 5:34)
♥ turn
away someone who wants to borrow
(Matt 5:42)
♥ store
up earthly treasures
(Matt 6:19)
♥ worry
about your life
(Matt 6:25)
♥ worry
about what to eat or drink
(Matt 6:25)
♥ worry
about what to wear
(Matt 6:25)
♥
judge
others (Matt 7:1)
♥ take
the easy (broad) way
(Matt 7:13-14)
|
Color
Legend
►
A
rule I will follow only because God says to. ►
A
rule I will not follow.
► A rule I would follow without God telling me to. ► A rule I don't think most Christians follow.
► A rule I would follow without God telling me to. ► A rule I don't think most Christians follow.
♥
Jesus
said this one Himself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)